Why didn’t I run?

About a year and a half ago I was still living in Woonsocket, Rhode Island. I didn’t own a vehicle at the time and my bike broke (another story altogether), so I would usually walk to and from my job and the home of the girl I was dating back then. Walking wasn’t too bad as long as you avoided certain streets and tried to walk during daylight hours. Plus, my usual routes took me past Dunkin Donuts which not only allowed for a great walking beverage, but provided me with a scalding hot weapon if something happened.

Anyway. About a year and a half ago, I was walking home. I was carrying the box from a digital camera – empty but for the data cord – and was sans coffee because I didn’t have any change on me. Coming over a small hill I saw 5 young men exit one of the houses on the street. They were laughing loudly and being generally rambunctious. Immediately my threat level went to orange and I started checking my options. I knew I didn’t really want to cross to the other side of the street because that would just draw their attention to my fear. I kept walking. As I approached them I realized they hadn’t seen me yet and I might be able to just walk past them. But, just as I was a few yards away they left the front yard and converged on the sidewalk in front of me. The only thing I could do was to attempt to casually walk through the group.

I probably would have made it home just fine if I hadn’t been carrying the digital camera box. Once the group noticed it they made a comment about what was in it. I considered just ignoring them, but instead just said, “nothing, it is empty”. I kept walking, trying to put distance between them and me. One of them asked me how much money I had on me. I glanced back over my shoulder and told them I didn’t even have money for coffee (which I really was wishing I had now). At this point I was about 15 yards from them and near the side street my house was on. I kept walking. I turned down the street hoping they would not follow. They did. One of the men threw a large stick at me and it whizzed past my head. I kept walking. They started running.

I heard one of them next to me and then a hand grabbed my shirt and pulled me backward. I felt a fist slam into the back of my neck. Then one hit my shoulder. I kept walking. One guy grabbed my arm and swung me around to face them. In the process I tripped and fell backward, dropping the box, and losing a shoe. I noticed one of them had picked up the stick and managed to avoid that and the fists of two of them. I got back up and kept walking. Somehow I made it the 30 yards to my front door, my porch security light flicked on and a car turned the corner illuminating the area. The 5 guys grabbed my digital camera box, left the shoe, and fled laughing to their house. I stood in the front entryway of my apartment building and vowed to get my bike fixed. Then I went to my landlord’s apartment and calmly called the cops.

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Now my story might be just another story for the “skinny-guy-gets-jumped-on-a-dark-street-at-night” folder, but since I lived it I have a much better grasp on the reality of it. So, in looking back I can’t help but ask Why didn’t I run? Why didn’t I just break into a sprint when they asked me how much money I had? Or at least when they threw the stick at me? Wouldn’t it logically make sense to get away as fast as possible? I mean, I hate to psychoanalyze myself in print, but what was I thinking? I know I was afraid. This definitely wasn’t a time when I was fearless. I was terrified I would get teeth knocked out or worse. And yet no running. Now, I will admit I didn’t fight back. But then again, 5 vs 1 isn’t exactly a fair fight. But I can’t quite figure out why my “safety-brain” didn’t immediately get my feet in high speed mode.

No, I don’t usually consider myself brave. But then again a cowardly man would have run. Maybe?
Why didn’t I run?

z.

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Good Poems for Hard Times.

Sarah over at Prairie Moon Books suggested Garrison Keillor’s Good Poems for Hard Times for this blog. I ordered it thinking I would post a random poem every so often. Maybe it will provide some poetic filler on days that I have nothing to write about.

So, I was reading the introduction by Garrison, which is mainly about his love for poetry, but also about the reason he felt the need to compile a book on poetry for hardship. Near the end of the introduction I came across a gem of a sentence. I thought it fit nicely with the theme of this blog.

Many people have pulled themselves out of the pit by the simple expedient of rising to their feet, leaning slightly forward, and putting one foot ahead of the other.

Look for the occasional poem culled from this book.

z.

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Larry Brilliant gets optimistic

Sure, there are a million reasons to be pessimistic. Global warming, disease, wars, disasters… all reasons to lose hope if you aren’t careful.
But here, Larry Brilliant makes a great case for being very optimistic. Humanity has always risen to meet the challenges. We can rise to meet them now.

When safety fails will you be optimistically active or will you collapse in pessimism?

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And in the process of browsing the TED site, I came across another optimism talk by Martin Seligman on positive psychology. Watch the above video first, but then an interesting follow-up is this video. Enjoy.

z.

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Here we go … the beginning

A perfect quote to start things off, by the great Theodore Roosevelt nonetheless.

It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of good deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly … who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who have never known neither victory nor defeat.

It makes me wonder what Teddy would consider a great enthusiasm or a great devotion. What inspired his courage? What drove his optimism?

z.